Where I Was
I lost a lot of weight and was in the best shape of my life on our wedding day. And then it all went downhill from there (sorry for the false advertising, honey). I found out that I was pregnant on our six month anniversary, gained A LOT of weight from that pregnancy and never got it all off. Struggled with depression and gained more weight. Had baby #2 and actually did lose some of that weight, but then went through another period of depression and gained even more weight. Last spring (when these pictures were taken), I was extremely large.
It was bad. I had trouble picking up toys from the living room floor, so I would sit there and try to reach them without moving much. I started having random tingling in my legs and feet, I was getting arthritis in my fingers and I didn't have any clothes that would fit me anymore. I regularly had emotional breakdowns because I'm sure my physical and mental/emotional health were connected.
I was so ashamed of myself because I KNEW what I looked like and I KNEW I was slowly killing myself and I KNEW that I needed to do something to change. I had been an athlete through college and I just felt so GUILTY that I had done this to my body. The problem, though, is that when I was feeling bad about myself, and I was stressed and overwhelmed and just feeling "stuck," I would eat to make myself feel better. I felt so bad about myself but I honestly didn't have the energy to do anything about it.
What I Did
I took the time to really think through my options of what I needed to do, even thinking of my excuses ahead of time and finding solutions before I even started. I didn't want to spend money on a gym membership, and I needed to plan for childcare. I knew it would make the most sense to start walking outside, but it was June and very hot down here in Georgia. So the best solution I could come up with was to start walking around the neighborhood before the kids woke up and before my husband had to get ready for work.
I also had to be very realistic with where I was and what I could handle. I started by walking just 30 minutes a day at 6:30AM. After a week or two, I increased it to 45 minutes. My friend Rachel joined me and I loved having the time to walk and talk with her.
I also made some basic changes to my diet -- instead of drinking 4-5 Diet Cokes and Dr. Peppers a day, I cut back to just one for dinner. I drank more water. I stopped eating sweets all the time (although I would still let myself have a treat every now and then). Basically, I just became more aware of my food choices.
I DID NOT want to do one of the latest diets or pills or shakes or anything like that. First, I didn't want to spend money. Second, I just don't really believe in them. Third, I wanted to find a way that would last (and most of those diets produce quick, but not long-term, results). But most importantly...I KNEW that eating healthy and working out was the best way to get in shape. I didn't need any other program telling me basic things that I already knew!!
Rachel and I kept up our morning walks in June, July and August. I lost some weight, but not much. Still, I was building a foundation and getting stronger. I knew it would take time to get to the point where I could really be working out again. In August, our friend Kym started joining us for our morning walks, too. But then school started for our kids and we had to figure out a new plan. I had to be home by 6:45AM, so we decided to start walking at 5:30AM. Rach wasn't able to commit to that because of her family's schedule, so it was just Kym and me.
I remember clearly one day in early September, Kym and I were walking and she said that she needed more from her workouts, because walking wasn't enough anymore. I said that we should probably start running, and she agreed, saying we needed to start right then. Boom. We ran a VERY short stretch (just down the street a little), but we did it. From there on, we started adding more short runs into our walks. We kept increasing our running stretches until we were finally able to run around the entire neighborhood without stopping.
Kym also had a workout group from her church that had met earlier in the year, so she started that group back up again on Friday mornings, and I joined them as well. Stephanie comes to lead us in a kick-butt circuit, mixing strength and cardio, and just pushing us more every week. The group has evolved from only friends from Kym's church to now an awesome mix of women who we know from many different circles. Stephanie still trains us on Fridays, but we also meet on Mondays and Wednesdays, too, usually doing a workout video (like BeachBody, P90X or Jillian Michaels) or sometimes our own circuits.
Other things that I have done? First, Kym is an amazing accountability partner! She is much better than me at sticking to her diet -- I still indulge too often. But I'm choosing to surround myself with people who can encourage me in this journey, so I stay close to Kym and we are really forming a great community within our morning workout group. I also love setting goals. I have My Big Goal that I want to reach sometime in 2015, but I also keep track of small goals and cross off every time I lose another 5 pounds. I use the MyFitnessPal and MapMyRun apps, and I now have a new FitBit that helps me with daily goals. I've also increased my water to a gallon a day...yes, I drink a gallon of water every day!
What Challenges I Faced
Oh, man, there are so many mental challenges in this weight loss journey! I really struggled with the "why me" questions. I have friends and family members who can eat whatever they want, but never seem to gain weight at all. Or I have other friends who enjoy working out and crave a good run or a green salad. THIS IS NOT ME. There was one morning in particular that I went on my walk and I really felt like I was stomping like a little kid, asking God why He gave me the body and the metabolism that He did. But I've come to accept that this is who I am and this is what I struggle with. I hate it, but I don't have to stay like it. This is a part of my life that I CAN change.
And I still have many mornings that I don't want to work out! Running in the morning was smart in the summer, but it is cold in the winter! Yes, even in Georgia. :) I don't like waking up at 4:45AM and I don't like running. But I love the feeling when I'm finished -- and I'm still hoping that maybe someday, it'll click and I will crave a good run.
Where I Am Now
I'm 27 pounds down! But I still have a lot more to go to hit my goal weight. My BMI is not in the "obese" category anymore! I never thought I would be so excited to be classified as "overweight," but now I'm excited to be working towards the "normal" range.
I'm down from wearing XXL shirts to just L shirts, and I'm not exactly sure what size jeans I wear now, but I'm down probably 2 or 3 sizes in those, too.
I feel great! My friend asked me the other day how I'm able to get up early to work out, put in 40 hours of work a week, keep up with my stay-at-home mom responsibilities and still maintain my sanity. Honestly, eating healthier, drinking water and working out has given me the energy I need to do all those things!
I don't have those tingling feelings in my legs and feet anymore, no more arthritis in my fingers, no more emotional breakdowns (well, maybe a few every now and then -- I am still a woman!). I am a much more active mom! I get on the floor and play with my kids more because it doesn't take so much energy for me to get back up. I don't hide behind my kids in pictures. I'm sure I'm smiling a lot more these days, too!
And remember how I started by just walking 30 minutes a day? Well, Kym and I ran a 5K in November!! And on the days we're not with our workout group, we still run around the neighborhood -- but we now do 4.5 miles without stopping!!!!
What Is Next
I'm so excited for 2015! It's great to start the year off knowing that I have a good plan in place to reach my fitness goals. I'm looking forward to losing even more weight, finding even more muscles to tone and even fitting in clothes that have been buried in my closet for years. I know that I still have a long way to go...in fact, it's kind of vulnerable to put all this out for people to read, knowing that my body still isn't where it should be.
But I am putting this out there because maybe someone reading this wants to make a New Year's resolution but doesn't know where to start. Maybe they don't have the money for a gym membership or maybe the diets they've tried never seemed to stick. If that describes you, please PM me! I would love to give you some encouragement. Because, seriously, if I can do this from where I was, then ANYONE can do it!!
(Picture on the left is from April 2014; picture on the right is from Christmas 2014)
